Eye spy

I do not appreciate strangers staring at me.

Whether

- on the train,

- across from me on the bus

- looking across platforms or roads

- a child in a pram or parent's arms

- walking through a racially distinct area

- work colleagues behind me

- family

- people you are talking to directly who just don't blink or look away

- in the car next to you

- walking the opposite direction down the street

- or in the bathroom ever.

It is a threat.

That's it. It is a clear distinct biological threat.

I bring this up because I have noticed an increase in the number of pedestrians walking the opposite direct on the same footpath from me doing just that. Quite often you can stare back and one of two things will happen:

1. they'll quickly look away

2. they'll keep staring until you've crossed paths (then it's just you who turns around and gives the dirty)

Very rarely is the staring followed with an actual threatening mean word or gesture. It is usually just a look. And I can personally understand the awkward situation where your eye sight fails at a long distance and so you're staring trying to make out someone's features until it becomes clearer with their approach. We look to see, assess, inspect. By all means, but then quickly look away. Staring really is something more than a look.

What unsettles me most is that not enough people have been taught the rule I was: males should never ever make eye contact with a girl after dark. Maybe that's a double standard because I don't hold it over girls (though I do appreciate it all the same), but that is just how society is. If a child is left abandoned, and we're female, we are told to find another female and not to ever move the child. If a child is left abandoned, and we're male, we should find another female. I am all for considering how much gender matters, but there are just some things that are the way they are for good reason. I believe there are some things guys aren't allowed to do and it is to assist with what girls aren't allowed to do (i.e. be out alone after midnight).

As the demographic in my neighbourhood shifts so do the ethics. Some things should stay the same no matter what. But that's just my opinion.